How to grow green babies in one simple step.

Step 1: Get liquored up by a little green man.

No parking within 6ft of either side of the forest.

Nothing of interest beyond this door. We have no idea why you need a major credit card.

You have the right to request a permit. You have the right to fill out line 6B of form 4J. You have the right to have your voice heard after appealing to the proper authorities.. Huzzah.

To the left, safety barrier. To the right, suicide. Such is the duality of life I guess....

"Image is on loan from the Joshua Taylor collection"

WTF is going on in this bathroom?

Finally tanning beds are healthy. Phew. This is like the height of the Atkins mayhem when KFC got to be good for you (low carbs...)

Remember your first time?

$29.98, that's a pretty good deal. I hear STDs are twice that much in Singapore.

"Image is on loan from the Joshua Taylor collection"

In case you are out of practice.

Poison, for quick relief of having children.

"Image is on loan from the Joshua Taylor collection"

You know, of all the styles of fiestas, Mexican style is the 3rd most authentic.

Now freakin small.

Welcome to the Random Honkey section.

!!! We Won't be under Hyped !!!

Where was this level of truth in advertising when I was in college?

I can see it now, cans of Bush Lite would read, "Product may taste like butt".

Yup, we love em!

This from Sheriff Mike Couvillon and his innovative, "Heavily armed youth for peace" platform.

"Image is on loan from the Joshua Taylor collection"

Why do I get the feeling Willie Nelson is behind this?

This signs hangs above the buffet at the all you can eat place next to my house.

Ok it doesn't, but it should.

This just in, Mario Cart is now a foreign war. But it only counts during the day.

One thing I hate, it's ill sized foam.

Young driver increase chance of death.

Old drivers increase chance of Matlock.

Pick your poison.

"Last Cocktail"

This is good for people who can't often remember their last cocktail. At least now they have a point of reference.

Turn your fat dog into a phat dog.

This image is on loan from the Vires family" collection.

This is great, just point this at anyone you want, and suddenly they are the jerk to inflate. Kind of like the "I'm with stupid" shirt, but more stealthy.

Check it out, join our gym and albino ET will give you a message!

I think this sign is for people who have lost their pants. They're behind you as it turns out.

Seriously don't.

Cause we'll catch you and be all like, "what does that sign say", and we'll make you read it out loud and we'll nod our heads all superior, and it will be really awkward.

For you.

Well, they were hidden. Big mouth.

No saying you weren't warned.

This image is on loan from the "LP" collection.

Well, no MORE dumping anyway.

This image is on loan from the "LP" collection.

The first time I saw this sign, I didn't notice the big "C".

I thought I was supposed to stop for horseshoe players.

Given the low priority of this message, I don't they're going to call.

I think we have all been here.

No matter how you turn, it won't be right.

Finally a gift for the scissor collector on your list.

I'm sorry emergency response team, the service entrance is around back. This is for guests only.

In the future, let's have you go straight there.

Thanks!~

Yup, It's not your grandfather's WW2!

That is refreshing.

Who green lighted this????

"Careful! The beverage you are about to enjoy is extremely hot!"

We'll sell you the whole cup, but you'll only need THE EDGE!

More evidence of the growing problem of English teacher street gang graffiti!

It's true, salmon just love brown bears. They never stop talking about great those brown bears are.

I see some possible coercion in obtaining this endorsement.

I'm just glad brown bears don't make floss as I would scared for that 4th dentist.

It took me a couple of tries to figure out what this sign is saying. Evidently this dude wants to pay the person who has his bags $100 for their return. The "contents only valuable to me" and "No questions asked" part however does raise an eye brow.

Do you think when he was writing this out he was thinking, "bet this never happened to DB Cooper..."

They have had just about enough of all those emergency vehicles, taxis, police and priests taking valuable parking places from shoppers.

To be fair, emergency vehicles can park there, but they need to purchase something.

Late nights and weekends!?!

That is so much better.

You know you live in a litigious society, when Dr. Evil has to put up a warning sign outside his secret laboratory.

"I need a fricken sign for my fricken laser?"

Marketers gone mild!

Loaf; clearly the best word to follow "Olive" in the construction of a sandwich.

If these people were selling sushi, they would call it "cold dead fish".

Get in my duffel!

What if I don't have a person?

This image is on loan from the "Joshua Taylor" collection.

This sounds like an insult you may hear at retirement community sadie hawkins dance.

ADD Nation. We now have a section of books, in case you forgot yesterday.

The anti-enviromental lobby is up to new tricks.
Branding "Ultragreen" as "Supersoft and Limp".
That's just mean man.

To the creator of this sign: You know, we don't MAKE you drink Coffee and listen to grudge. And the flannel thing is totally up to you too...friends?

This one doesn't need a joke, as it the best sign EVER!

This is what happens when WWE writers take outside jobs. You get "Ultimate Mixed Vegetables", dude they are totally going pin the "Peas and Carrots of doom" in their upcoming grudge match!

Selling over the fence...not a bad idea, do you think Pat Buchanan owns stock in this venture?

This is what happens when a Kindergarten teacher with dyslexia reads the constitution, you get the right to arm teddy bears. This really is a picture of teddy bear, with a machine gun.

Ahh the lashing test. Part of the grueling final in medieval dungeon master school.

First I didn't know mobsters were called "staff". On the up side "Sleep lab parking" is in the running for best euphemism ever!

Well, I mean if you can...you should avoid harassing wildlife. If you can't avoid it, have them fill out some forms in triplicate, wildlife REALLY hates that...